Yet another day..yet another melody

A cup of hot chai and one of my most favourite gazals playing.. this is pure unadulterated bliss... as I hum these lines..

"Khench le na voh mera parde ka kona daffatan - 2
Aur dupatte se tera voh munh chhupaana yaad hai
Humko ab tak aashiqui ka voh zamaana yaad hai
Chupke chupke raat din aansu bahaana yaad hai
Do paher ki dhoop mein mere bulaane ke liye - 2
Voh tera kothe pe nange paaon aana yaad hai"

I want to go back.

Today I want to go back in time and not make those decisions.
I want to go back and not say those things.
I want to go back and not make those promises.
I want to go back and change my present again.

Dreamy...

I get lyrical sometimes..poetic...read words with a lens in hand...delve deeper...deeper than the superficiality of the random assortment of characters...the symbolism and the representation takes me into a different plane of existence...I get dreamy..shed the covering of pragmatism and logic..

Right now a multitude of thoughts are randomly appearing in my mind in flashes as I listen to this song... beautiful is the word..

Let me take you far away
You’d like a holiday
Let me take you far away
You’d like a holiday

Exchange the cold days for the sun
A good time and fun
Let me take you far away
You’d like a holiday

Let me take you far away
You’d like a holiday
Let me take you far away
You’d like a holiday

Exchange your troubles for some love
Wherever you are
Let me take you far away
You’d like a holiday

Longing for the sun you will come
To the island without name
Longing for the sun be welcome
On the island many miles away from home
Be welcome on the island without name
Longing for the sun you will come
To the island many miles away from home

PS: Sorry for sounding way too abstract. I am like this onlyy ;)

Humming....

As I write this piece..I am smirking away to glory..listening to this song which reminds me of one of those days a few years back in Bombay...

Yes...music and songs invariably remind me of the times which are well etched in my memory...little things..its strange and I must admit that I do have a story from my memory for every song that i like :) its strange..but when the memory is rather endearing, the songs make my day when ever I listen to them.. like the one right now! Gosh I need to stop smirking :) :)
I will write a post on my favorite songs and the story I associate with each soon.. Right now I just want to hum and smile :D

Loud..Louder

Hooked to this song on my ipod since morning which reminds me of the initial days in Bombay :) Just LOVE IT!

ah the drama!

So I am addicted...yes very much..addicted to all those reality shows that air on every damn channel aired on that huge TV in my room..

Reality TV as a genre is not something very old for the Indian me.. Yes the 'Big Boss', the 'roadies, splitsvilla et al not withstanding.. which reminds me (sorry for digressing) how I once witnessed a scene in Bombay wherein my friend, lets call her P threatened to beat up a colleague N for voting against Kashmira Shah in Big Boss :P .... Hardcore is the word :D

Anyways..despite witnessing such devotion for the reality shows back home..I still feel totally new to the concept when I watch endless number of such shows here in US...

America..the land of opportunities.. And honestly, it hasn't taken me that long to realize how drama finds every opportunity to come alive on screen in every form or manner.. This country thrives on drama! and no not the drama that is contrived or rehearsed or that is nor real... This country thrives on every bit of drama that happens in real life..

Whether is it watching some uber rich Housewives bitching around...spending truckloads of money on what in India would be categorized as conspicuous consumption...or watching the tale of the unsuspecting women who carry a baby for 9 months without realizing anything in the belly! I am aghast!

If you thought that we in India make a celebrity someone greater than god..then think twice.. In US, they make a celebrity out of nothing... you don't need to be anything in real life... Just appear on a reality show about your life which shows you sleeping, drinking , eating and shopping and sometimes reading a paper in the bathroom and VIOLA! YOU ARE FAMOUS!! Wow being a celebrity is THAT easy here...

Watching this reality show on the lives of Kardashian family was just mind boggling! A bunch of sisters who appear rather dumb (seriously!), the bimbos.. they don't shy away from being in front of the camera exposing every part of their body while giving birth...or letting the camera into their bedrooms to capture some intimate moments...or let the world see them getting a bikini wax!! Seriously! are there no boundaries??? No, basically doing these things make them sensational...and lest we forget..the great country called USA LOVES drama..loves sensation! and yeah this country has made superstars of those really lame sisters.. sigh!

Then there are shows like the Bachelorette...and I can proudly (or maybe not) say that India had its own version of the show with our homegrown drama queen... but the US version is so full of steamy scenes, masala and DRAMA..that Rakhi Sawant pales in comparison.. Just imagine that!

There is this really crazy show I came across while flipping channels yesterday... The show features parents who hate the boyfriends/girlfriends of their kids.. And they are on a quest to find their spoilt kid a better date who can have a decent influence on the former! And we curse shaadi.com in India! The concept is similar except that these parents do everything in front of EVERYONE and add a LOT more drama to the endeavour..

There are so many more shows I could talk about..but lets just stop here for I am sure you have totally got what I started trying to convey...

One of these days..I am so going to pick up a book and switch off that idiot box! I am so going to do that soon :)

My Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

I have been meaning to write you this letter since a long long time..Umm ok not so long maybe..but yeah since a couple of weeks definitely... I wanted to pour out my heart and tell you how much you were missed...

You were missed on all those days I felt supreme joy and did not know how to vent it out except by dancing alone or calling up family and acting speechless...

I missed you on days I was down with dejection... Not knowing how to express the angst...who to share it with...and how to verbalize the flux of emotions...I feared no one understood me... And all that is because I had forgotten how to express things with perfection..without an iota of confusion...

Yes my dear diary..I missed you on all those times...sorely... You were the only one who listened to me without judgment..Who let me feel the way I did...You did not consider anything trivial..or unimportant...You let me be! And I would go on an on...share with you everything..

You were with me in the form of a little diary when I was young.. I remember guarding you like a precious possession from all those hawking eyes :) I made sure that you slept under my pillow safely..

When I grew up, I learnt to share you with the rest of the world...I published you on the internet, for everyone to go through...

Yes that was a big step..for I was letting a very personal part of my life find a life of its own.. Did I have any pangs of separation ? ... I did..but then I had to let you go... I felt great on letting you go and learnt to share you with others very well...

You grew..and matured... At times I used to feel very proud of you... But then I dont know when and how, but I slowly started losing you...

I got busy..and pretended to be too busy to spend any time with you... I would visit you once in a while... Look at you and maybe talk to you.. But gradually other things became more important to me...and I almost lost you... During this time I thought I had 'figured' everything out...I did not need you to talk to or understand me...

Only one thing I did not realize..and that was how all the pent up thoughts which could not find a way out were building up inside of me...I ignored it... I thought I was perfect...

and BOOM... One fine day on one of those days..I come face to face with you again...I looked at you and realized..how much I had missed you...I realized..how much I missed talking to you...how much I have not been me without you... I want to be friends with you again....and I mean it...I want to talk to you again...and I really mean it... I need to discover me again...and I so mean it... Please lets be friends again :)

Love,

Ecolectrik

Lessons

There is one critical lesson I learnt a few years back....after a bout of tough time...low confidence and dejection.... I learnt that no one can make you feel a certain way unless you wanted so.... The lesson was very powerful..for it gave me the power to fight back..and achieve things for myself...proving to others was just a fortunate corollary... It's time to revisit this lesson again...this time again for myself.

I want to be me...just me...period.